I am one of four children and the youngest of the bunch. By the way, did I mention the only girl? I know what you are thinking “spoiled”, but I don’t believe that to be true.

Each of my siblings married in their early twenties while I was all about finding my place in ministry. As the years went on, they were having families and I was raising spiritual kids.

At the family gatherings I would often feel like the lone ranger, sticking out like a sore thumb. My family was not intentionally doing anything to make me feel that way, I just felt that way. It would have been easy to fall into a downward vortex of self pity, but I decided that I wasn’t going to let that happen to me. As I leaned on the Lord during those years I learned some great lessons.

1. I chose to be single.

Singleness isn’t a curse it’s a choice we make. If you are single, the reality is, if you really wanted to get married you could. You could lower your standard, disregard your hearts desires, and dive into the next relationship that passed by. But, you have “chosen” not to do that because deep down you value who you are.

2. I am complete.

Being married does not change my value. I am not half a person desperately searching for my other half so that I can be complete. I am valuable because God says I am valuable! I impart value, gifts, wisdom, and creativity to those around me. I have something that others need. Colossians 2:10 , “..and you are complete in Him…”

3. I am not alone, though I may feel lonely at times.

Loneliness is the absence of vulnerable relationships in my life. As I opened my heart up to friendships, and allowed myself to become vulnerable to others, loneliness became less of an issue. Proverbs 18:24, “Friends come and go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.”

4. Live life today.

Don’t keep putting things off that you want to experience today. I went on missions trips to China, Brazil, and Mexico. I traveled the states with friends. I built my first home, and had a blast decorating it. I experienced years of fulfilling and thriving ministry because I believed God had a purpose for me in my singleness.

I was content being single and pursuing what God had called me to be and do. It was on that journey that God brought to me, my best friend. He too, was content in being single and fulfilling what God had called him to be and do. Don’t let life pass you by, we need you to become all that God has purposed you to be and do.